21.
WEIHGAST
Yes, yes. Dr. Halmschlaeger told me that you were depressed in
mind.(He does not like Rademacher's glance but forces himself
to bear it) But you sent for me, you wanted to speak to me? Well
I am ready. Why do you smile? Oh no, it's only the reflexion
of the light. The light is rather poor here. Well, I am wait-
ing. I will have to tell Dr. Halmschlaeger that you have made no
use of the first five minutes. --Well?
RADEMACHER
(Opens his laps as if about to speak several times, but does not
speak. There is a cause)
WEIHGAST
And how have things gone with you all this time? (Slightly em-
barrassad) That question is somewhat out of place just now...
But I confess I am a little embarrassad. For, to judge by
externals
it would seem as if my lot had been the happen
of the two. Still-if we only look at things as we ought to--
who has suffered the greatest cisappointment? Is it not always
the man who has apparently achieved the most?--That sounds para-
doxical but it is true. Ah if I should tell you--my life is
nothing but care and struggle. I do not know if you have been
following the more recentA movements in literature--they are fall-
ing on me like a pack of 18lves1--who? The younger generation.
And ten years ago I was Schunted among the younger ones myself.
Now they are trying to dethrone me. It's enough to make one
sick to read those reviews. They treat me with soon, with rock
condescension--it’s outrageous! Here I’ve worked and striven and
given of the best that was in me—oh be glad that you're out of
all that sort of thing! If I could choose, if I could begin over
again--